Do you remember a situation that your head told you to do one thing and you’re your heart told you to do another? Or that in spite of knowing better, you still made a choice that was not good for you in the end? Rest assured, you are not the only one with this experience.
But there is a short, simple and practical solution to this dilemma.
Do you recognize situations such as:
- You don’t enjoy your job as much as you used to when you first started it a while back. But you keep telling yourself that the money is good, the job marked is tight and that you should be content and stop fretting.
- You needed some winter boots and bought the robust ones that could also be used for a hike in the dunes – and regretted it ever after, because you never wore them; too warm.
- Or you opted for the vegan dish in the new restaurant – but being a real meat lover you couldn’t stop longing for your friends spare ribs meal all evening.
- Or you bought that kinky red lipstick in the hottest fashion color, which gave you a feeling of being hip and edgy – but once you left the drug store you started to scold at yourself because you really know that the color doesn’t suit you at all.
These are all situations where the knowledge of you head (mind), stomach (feeling) and your inner wisdom (heart) were nog aligned.
Today, you will learn to recognize the symptoms for such shortage of alignment. Furthermore I will introduce you to a wonderful and straight forward exercise which helps you to create such an alignment but also to actively employ all 3 ‘decision-making systems’ to prevent decisions you later regret, create more confidence in your life and retain your energy.
Imagine: You are facing an important decision or struggling with a dilemma. But you head gives you a quite different advise than does your heart; you seem to think something that is not in line with your feelings. You are in a constant conflict with yourself. You’re stuck and cannot move forward.
If you manage to align your thoughts, feelings and inner knowledge, however, you can make a giant leap forward.
Forcing a decision is counterproductive
If you have to force yourself to make a choice, it takes a lot of energy. Old dilemmas will persist and in your subconscious and emerge from time to time. Before you know it you find it hard to get up in the morning at all.
Symptoms for that you are out of line with yourself
There are many symptoms that your 3 decision-making systems are not cooperating well, for example:
- You do not prioritize your own well-being.
- You suppress your essential needs, emotions, fears and ambitions.
- You maintain unhealthy habits.
- You want to do everything perfect.
- You are lazy and don’t make much effort.
- You don’t consider constructive criticism, but instead think ’this is just the way I am’.
- You don’t take responsibility for your problems, but instead you continue to complain about them.
- You don’t ask for help when you need it.
- You identify too much with others and want to help too much.
- Your mind is restless.
- You lose pleasure in activities, relationships and work.
Go for a fresh start
Every dead end has the potential for a fresh start. If you recognize any of the above symptoms it’s time for you to start afresh. If you learn to let your thinking, feeling an inner knowledge cooperate and generate a result that you can fully support with your whole being you will experience a giant leap forward. You will actually gain energy instead of losing it.
Don’t you already know?
Often you know already know well what you want, but some strange belief in your subconscious is causing you to freeze. This may be an old belief, a particular experience or the your inner knowledge who’s ringing the alarm bell. Those feelings or thoughts are not there by chance . They have a function. See it as signals and learn to listen to them.
Adjusting and finetuning
By listening carefully to these signals you learn about yourself better and discover how to adjust and finetune your actions in accordance with all 3 decision making systems. This enables you to make quick and effective decisions, set clear your goals and function happily and successfully.
Apply and practice the exercise below and you will experience first-hand that it works.
Have fun with it!
Exercise: Heart – head connection aligned
Choose a situation or question which you want a clear answer about. Or where you need to make a decision on.
1. Focus your attention on your mind (head)
- Be curious about the information that is coming.
- What do you know about the situation/question?
- What do you think about this situation/question?
- What does your mind tell you about the matter?
Let all the information come to you, uncensored. Make some notes, keywords. Keep it short and to the point.
2. Focus your attention on your feelings (belly)
- Be curious about the information that is coming
- How do you feel about the situation/question?
- What message doe your feelings have for you?
Let all the information come to you, uncensored. Make some notes, keywords. Keep it short and to the point.
3. Go with your attention to your heart
- What does your heart tell you?
- What is your truth about this question/situation?
- What information is available, if you go to the bigger picture of your life? Look!Let all the information come to you, uncensored. Make some notes, keywords. Keep it short and to the point.
Perhaps the information from all 3 information systems is similar. Or it may be quite different. Be curious about all bits of information that you’ve gathered. Treat them as a puzzle and play with them. Find different outcomes using all pieces. Then select the picture that you like most!
The more you listen to your thinking, feeling, and your inner knowledge, the easier it will become to work with it. And the faster you will establish overview and focus.
Practicing alignment of your head and heart can change your life forever.
I use this exercise in my work as a coach with amazing results. Do you want to work from a pure, solid base in yourselves, with an open heart? Contact me for a session. For hands-on practical group training, go to my website for the data.
Did you like this article? Then check out the next article: ‘Essential knowledge to facilitate learning for (high) sensitive kids (and adults)’. Online November 23th.